The Holiday Blues
By: Kristina Tsipouras, November 16, 2015
If you asked anyone who knew me personally, they would tell you that I am one of the most enthusiastic, positive, & passionate people they know. This includes getting in the holiday spirit, falling in love with the seasons, embracing everything, always smiling, and often trying to lift up everyone around me. Although, sometimes, and fortunately rarely, I return to being human and hit a deep sad and vulnerable place.
Tonight, this feeling came to me after scrolling through instagram and facebook only to see everyones beautiful holiday photos with their big loving families. I love the holidays, I do embrace them, but they aren't perfect. Traditions have been broken, and my heart aches for my family across the world, and for my Greek Grandparents who passed away. The holidays seemed to have felt more bittersweet these last few years. I decided to write about my personal experience tonight with the holiday blues in hopes that it speaks to just one person. The holiday blues hit a lot of people, and a lot of homes, but no ones talks about them. Before reading further, if you are going through any sadness this holiday season I want you to first know that you are not alone. And secondly, you are probably a strong, unique, and amazing person who will appreciate and feel the good times so much deeper than someone who honestly didn't have the opportunity to experience the darker side of life. The harder times force us to wake up, be strong, cherish everything, and often push us into becoming the best version of ourselves. People who have seen the darkest of times are usually the ones who reach the highest level of enlightenment and happiness, so don't forget that. Have appreciation for what you are going through, and what it will teach you, if you allow and accept its purpose.
When I think of my childhood, I think of perfection. My beautiful home, my loving family, my best friends who lived down the street. I truly received the most blissful, amazing childhood experience, which I will always be so thankful for. We have about 80 home videos to remind me of the true happiness that I experienced. Then, at 16, everything changed. My home was broken, and I became the parent figure. That year, I became an adult and never looked back. I have been through a lot more than anyone probably should by the age of 29. But I made a decision. That decision was to find myself, to find my happiness, to trust & love the process, and to never settle. You see, this time last year, I was in love, and everything just seemed so perfect. This year, I am single, and tonight, I feel alone. The reason I bring this up and remind myself of how in love I was last year, and how I had someone by my side during the holidays, is that I still know today that it didn't mean it was the right love, or the right person.
So tonight, I need to remind myself, that being lonely is ok. That waiting for the right person to come along is healthier. That settling and still allowing someone to be by my side only because I was simply sick of feeling vulnerable was and never will be ok. I have raised my standards high for myself, because I know that these moments of sadness will pass, and that I am strong enough to handle anything that life throws my way. I have been my own cheerleader for a long time, and I can get through anything on my own. So this is why, in family, in love, in timing, in everything that I am and that I do, I trust the process.
We all have our pasts, we all continue to struggle with the human condition, but we all have a choice to be happy. Because, afterall, happiness is a choice. It is about perception and attitude. So this holiday season, I will leave you with this quote:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."
Love you all & happy Thanksgiving to YOU!