Looking for love, in all the wrong people
By: Kristina Tsipouras, November 16, 2015
It took me 29 years, but for the first time ever, I feel that I have met my perfect match, the one who deserves my heart.
He isn't typically who I have dated in the past. He isn't a smooth talking womanizer, and he wasn't trying to take me home on the first few dates. He actually wanted to get to know me. He was so respectful, honest, and even predictable.
At first, this felt boring to me. Because, since I can remember, I have felt the most passion in thrill seeking relationships. This meant, being with unpredictable men who were not always reliable or honest. This to me always felt exciting, thrilling and passionate. My belly would do flips, my heart would beat fast, and I felt alive.
When I entered this new relationship, I wasn't sure why my belly wasn't doing flips. Why was I resisting this amazing man who truly acted like a knight in shining armor and who won me over, the old fashioned way. Knowing that I could fully trust him, that he didn't hide how he felt about me, that he didn't care what others thought of him, this was all very new to me. I knew that I loved spending time with this person, that I was so attracted to him, that he already felt like a best friend who I had known my whole life. So why wasn't I receiving those thrill seeking emotions that kept me on the edge of my seat? The most beautiful part about our relationship was that I could be honest and open with him about my resistance, my past and my feelings. He was so patient with me and understood me.
Over the last few weeks, I decided to break down my feelings with the guidance of my amazing spiritual mentor and therapist. (I truly believe that everyone needs one) Anyways, we broke down what passion actually feels like. How does it feel in your chest and heart? What does it physically do to you? I started to realize that it felt like nervousness, like anxiety even. These heart racing, thrilling emotions disguised as love and passion, they were actually very unhealthy for me. I made a vow to myself to release these old feelings and patterns, look at my true value & worth and realize that I AM deserving of an amazing man who adores me. I AM worthy of this type of everlasting love and that not all men are the same.
I have worked so hard on myself and in my career and I deserve someone who inspires me. I deserve someone who teaches me, and who makes me a better person. Although I just recently came to this discovery that now looking back seems quite simple, it took me years to figure out, and I had to go through heartbreak and digging deep to find myself. I am now falling for this person, in a way that I have never fallen before. In a deeper more meaningful way that is hard to explain in words. I can look into our future and see our amazing life. How trustworthy, reliable and stable our relationship will be, and how we are building a bond that can never be broken.
If you are currently seeking love, ask yourself if you are looking for love in all the wrong people. How do you actually view yourself, your time, your worth? Do the people you date match that? Do you demand respect, honesty and trust? Do you tolerate behavior in a partner that you wouldn't tolerate in a family member or a friend? Breakdown your patterns and actually sit with them and sense what they feel like. Be open to online dating. Be open in general. Don't overthink it, and just feel your way through. Your gut knows what is right for you, but many people have found a true talent in learning to ignore it. Demand respect from others and you will receive it. Don't get hung up on one person unless you are sure. Don't waste your time, and don't give all of yourself right away. I believe in old-fashioned love, and I believe that a man should woo you; he should work to win you over and win your heart.
Wishing you all a beautiful magical love that you deserve. It is out there for all of us. But we have to fall in love with ourselves first. We have to let go of old unhealthy behaviors, beliefs and patterns about others, and about ourselves. We have to open up completely and know ourselves well before we can give ourselves to another and experience the most beautiful type of love there is. But most importantly, continue to fall in love with yourself. Don't ever lose yourself in a relationship and always put yourself first. If you don't, why should anyone else?
I was inspired to write on this topic after reading this Huffington Post article:http://huff.to/1CF8IHJ